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THE

nec procu

The beating

PULSE

of the Golden Triangle 

THE

February 19th, 2020
BREAKING:
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Study: The effect of rising sea levels on the Golden Triangle

We accessed the relatively-easy-to-hack email servers at the UEA’s Climate Research Unit, and downloaded their climate model for East Anglia. Here’s what Global Warming will mean for our area.

 

Dateline 2020 – Our own fair region.

A bastion of enlightenment, culture and unspoiled charm.

(Suffolk is also visible to the south).

2030 – Rivers swell and coastal erosion takes hold

2040 – Ipswich is one of the first casualties.

An unsophisticated populace were sceptical about Global Warming (certainly it was never mentioned in the Ipswich Evening Star).

Almost all have paid the ultimate price, yet somehow, Deliah Smith (now 114), clings to life atop  the Buttermarket Shopping Centre.

2050 – The mainland is still accessible,

. . . but only through Bury St Edmunds – The awful cost of Global Warming.

2060 – Norwich is an island.

NR6 is the first to flood. Being voted England’s 2nd most desirable postcode was a fleeting folly.

Other Norwich suburbs also succumb (but only the crappy ones mind you).

Miraculously, The Golden Triangle Survives

Due to it’s natural position above the city’s 3 main rivers, and thanks to high plateaus like Dover Street, the Golden Triangle now thrives.

The average year round temperature is 28 °C, and the Triangle bathes majestically in a warm azure sea, 80 miles off the coast of Peterborough.

Why not take a boat . . .

from the jetty at the Amnesty Book shop to the attractive water’s edge terrace of the William & Florence ?

CHEERS !

 

 

 

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