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THE

nec procu

The beating

PULSE

of the Golden Triangle 

THE

December 12th, 2019
BREAKING:
  • Report: 3 in 5 Golden Triangle adults now 'entirely reliant' on basket weaving as their primary source of income . . . .

UEA Misses Diversity Quotas After Survey Reveals 97% Of Current Undergraduates Are Nerds

UEA bosses were coming under fire this afternoon after a report published by the Equality Commission revealed that 97% of the 2019 undergraduate intake were either Nerds, or originated from ‘Nerdy/Spoddy  backgrounds’.

UEA Diversity Officer Autumn Fairisle  told The Lentil

Despite promises made in 2018 to extend access to further education to Goths, Chavs and Emos, the campus is still predominantly Nerd-centric.

 

Student leaders claim that the prevalence of Nerds at the UEA no longer accurately reflects the demographic of a modern student population, which, according to the Office for National Statistics is:

Hipsters 52%
EMOS / Goths 18%
Nerds and Spods 11%
Hippies 8%
Chavs 7%
Metal Heads 4%

 

Goths are very unhappy

 

 

 

 

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