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THE

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The beating

PULSE

of the Golden Triangle 

THE

August 9th, 2020
BREAKING:
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‘NR2 Winter Lights Switch On’ War Intensifies As Sandringham Road Deploys ‘ARTIFICIAL MOON’

Worrying Escalation in Lights Battle as ‘Switch-on Day’ Approaches

Concerns were growing this afternoon amid rumours that an ‘Influential backer’ from Sandringham Road  had funded the launch of an “Artificial Moon” in a bid for  total dominance over the forthcoming NR2 Winter Lights Switch On event.

Artists’s impression

Reuters confirm that a satellite consisting of 5,000 tiny mirrors was launched last week from Kourou in French Guiana, destined for a geosynchronous orbit directly above South West Norwich.

Once in position, the ‘moon’ will be 20 x brighter than a full moon and will dominate the night sky over NR2.

Phoebe Munford (41) described the launch as ‘another worrying development’ in the hostilities which have dogged preparations for the big event on December 8th.

We can all do our little bit to help deescalate the current tensions . . . 

 

. . . and I am today appealing to Wellington Road residents to begin decommissioning their Laser Gantry, as was agreed in October’s “Winter Lights Limitation Treaty” . . . 

Wellington Road’s 200 Giga Watt “Crib Killer” lighting rig

 

 

 

 

 

 

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