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August 9th, 2020
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Flash B*stard Swaggers Into Unthank Arms Flaunting His Scandi-Tan

Absolutely no denying that Onley Street man has had a couple of weeks abroad . . .

Local poseur and all round T*ss-pot Simon Sheridan sauntered into the front bar of the Unthank Arms on Saturday evening hell-bent on letting locals know that he’d just got back from a fancy foreign holiday.

Tim Richfield (33) of Trinity Street was one of many locals who were visibly irritated by Mr Sheridan’s ostentatious display.

. . . in he strolls . . . looking like casper the bloody ghost or something . . . and straight away we all cop that he’s wearing a shirt and trousers for christ’s sake . . .

 

. . . so he just plonks his arrogant a*se down on a bar stool . . . presumably so that we all get to see he’s wearing socks . . . and then he orders a pint of mild . . . like it’s february-the-fricking-first or something . . .

Mr Sheridan was unavailable for comment.

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