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THE

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The beating

PULSE

of the Golden Triangle 

THE

September 22nd, 2020
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Meet The 19 Year Old U.E.A. Fresher Who ‘Identifies’ As A Graduate

Harley Wilson says he was born in an era when society was unwilling to ‘assign him an appropriate educational identity’

I was born in the regressive nineties . . . 

a relaxed looking Mr Wilson told The Lentil

. . . and despite both my parents being wealthy and successful graduates, back then, degrees simply weren’t available postnatally . . .

Yet despite only having two D grades at A Level , Mr Wilson says that he now identifies as “a popular graduate with a First Class Honours degree in Economics.

From birth, I have felt like I am a graduate. I dress like a graduate. I’m very sexually attracted to female graduates. I’ve never been near the Student Union or Mantra.  In just about every sense, I am a graduate

And now he hopes to establish a support network in the Golden Triangle for others who are battling against social norms and university red-tape to be identified as graduates.

Doctor Keith Miller for the UEA School of Economics :

The first few weeks of term can be challenging for new students . . .

 

Pastures new . . .

. . . but I would suggest that Mr Wilson has another 10  minutes to get to his first MACRO-EC tutorial before I identify him as a “MegaBus passenger with a one-way ticket to Keele . . . “

 

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