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THE

nec procu

The beating

PULSE

of the Golden Triangle 

THE

October 24th, 2020
BREAKING:
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Ukulele Threat-Level Raised To “Critical”

Authorities Warn Ukulele Performance “Highly Likely” Within Next 72 Hours

 

Authorities have urged residents to be vigilant on the run up to the school holidays after the likelihood of ukulele concerts occurring somewhere within the Golden Triangle was declared “Very High”.

Community Leader Emma Ravenswood:

We don’t want to stop people attending parks and other gatherings, but we are urging members of the public to stay alert, and be aware of their surroundings . . .

 

. . . and if you are unlucky enough to get caught up in a Ukulele Concert, don’t try any heroics. Remember to DUCK, COVER, and HUM . . .

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