Locally sourced stories
hand-crafted for
your entertainment


nec procu

The beating


of the Golden Triangle 


October 24th, 2020
  • REMINDER: St Thomas' Church Nativity is strictly Pay-Per-View. Sky Plus 107, NETFLIX or FREEVIEW ch 219

Ukulele Threat-Level Raised To “Critical”

Authorities Warn Ukulele Performance “Highly Likely” Within Next 72 Hours


Authorities have urged residents to be vigilant on the run up to the school holidays after the likelihood of ukulele concerts occurring somewhere within the Golden Triangle was declared “Very High”.

Community Leader Emma Ravenswood:

We don’t want to stop people attending parks and other gatherings, but we are urging members of the public to stay alert, and be aware of their surroundings . . .


. . . and if you are unlucky enough to get caught up in a Ukulele Concert, don’t try any heroics. Remember to DUCK, COVER, and HUM . . .




Latest from the News Yurt
More Exclusive Stories
You might have missed
The Archives

More stories from 5 years of The Lentil