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THE

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The beating

PULSE

of the Golden Triangle 

THE

December 12th, 2019
BREAKING:
  • Report: 3 in 5 Golden Triangle adults now 'entirely reliant' on basket weaving as their primary source of income . . . .

“We’re Devastated” – Norwich Residents Anguish As Waitrose Drone Fails To Lift Whole Prosciutto During Test Flight

All Hopes Now Pinned On Next Week’s Test Lift Of A “Dutchy Organic” Free Range Goose

 

Norwich residents have been talking of their ‘torment’ and ‘heartache’ after plans for Waitrose drone deliveries to their area suffered a major setback on Friday.

A test delivery carrying a “Waitrose Essentials” 2 kilo Prosciutto took off from Cringleford, but engineers were forced to abandon the lift  just seconds into the flight after the drone’s engines overheated.

And all this comes just days after a Heston Orkney Dressed Lobster plummeted into a garden in Eaton.

Speaking on behalf of College Road residents, Imogen Porter (36) told The Lentil

Waitrose better get their sh*t together in time for Christmas   . . .

lobster-crash2
Sickening scene from the crash site.

. . . I’ve got 3 kids to feed, and when they say they want a Chorizo & Fennel Cassoulet, they want it now . . . . . not  “sometime between 3 and 5 pm tomorrow” . . .

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